September 11

Well today sucked. I deleted my twitter and I can't stop thinking abut how mad I screwed things up with Ali. It's as f she never cared about me at all......... I honestly felt like I loved her but how can you love someone who deletes you from there life? I really think the whole downfall in the relationship was Jeremy. He stayed to close and always convinced Ali I was stupid. She never wanted to see me and that really hurt. I have a feeling she'd going to text me in the next coming week but what should I do? Should I just ignore her or should I ask for a second chance? I felt like I was he perfect boyfriend and I guess I just got to clingy..... everyone warned me about her. Everyone. Se's not perfect, but for some reason I care about her a hell of a lot. Maybe I'll just write her a letter and bring her flowers when I can drive..... My whole goal is to have her back by Halloween but something inside me says she'll be with someone else by then. All I can do is pray. It's 9/11 and I keep thinking about what actually happened this day..... was it all a conspiracy? There are so many questions and I'll probably never know until I die. I really just want to be happy. I have no friends around me and I really feel alone...... Idk what to do this year. Who should I connect with? I miss Pat and Tyler and Ali. All my friends either moved away or have dumped me and it hurts. I hate this feeling..... I pray that things get better n the next coming week..... All I can do id pray.